Cancer Sucks


Let’s face it, cancer sucks. 

For the last 8 years I have seen my oncologist every day or week, and then after treatment, every 3 months. Last May I saw her and she moved me to 4 months. Yesterday was the four month apt. My oncologist is very pleased with my labs, how I’m doing, how I have adapted to the life long changes of dealing with fatigue and some other lovely souvenirs of treatment.

This woman who by the Grace of God, helped save my life, is very pleased I am working only part time. She loves my family support system. Now she decided to move my appointments to every 6 months. 6 months, woozer! So many mixed emotions. But still, cancer sucks.

I had triple negative, metaplastic cancer and I have the BRAC 1 gene/mutation. Those odds for survival were not good, in fact, almost a perfect storm for disaster. This is scary for me. If all is well in March, we will go to 9 months and then a year.

Going to the oncologist every 3, then 4 months has been my safety net. I’ve discussed ever ache and pain, every scrap of news on the types of cancer I had and everything else with her. We have discussed how God isn’t finished with me yet because statically I am not supposed to be here.

She said it is time for her to spend time with sick people. So at almost 61, I feel like I am leaving the nest again! I know my body well enough to seek medical treatment when something is off. Now I confident that I can do this and this safety net is not needed anymore. But still, yikes! I am a big girl, I can do this. Honestly it HAS been quite empowering not going to the office. Strange, but empowering! I am woman, hear me roar!

I had a colonoscopy recently because my mom had and died of colon cancer almost 50 years ago. My scan was fine. Then, I had a head/brain MRI a few weeks ago. Again, the scan was clear. My cousin had brain cancer and died from it. I had a chest scan earlier in the year. It, too, was clear. My blood work has been stable for months. She is covering all basis before she cuts me loose.  

Why am I putting this out here… my hope is to educate! Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence but it is a total game changer in every aspect of life. This affects family, friends and especially the survivor. Some understand the extreme fatigue that hits out of nowhere and some don’t. It is nothing for me to crash and burn and sleep away a weekend even now at 8 years NED. My body needs that. I have no other choice, it’s not often but it happens.

Some survivors don’t have the fatigue issue but most do. My family is my support system. They get it, care and love me. Some, unfortunately, don’t have that family support. There are so many other ‘souvenirs’ that affect some and not others. Every story, person and journey is different, no two are alike. No matter the diagnoses, the journey is scary, hard, unpredictable, and oh, so lonely at times.

So in writing this I am preparing myself to move on to the next phase in my journey. My survival isn’t determined by cancer but by the Grace of God, the love and support of my family and just enjoying life! I have my hubby whom I love with every fiber within me. (I want to kill him one moment and love him the next), 🙂  my parents, my grown sons, my daughter in law, and those 3 lovies to watch grow up! Life is Good and I am so truly blessed. Cancer sucks But tuned the best is yet to come!


  1. Pearl

    February 22nd, 2019 at 12:55 am

    I’m loving this blog Pam!! You GO Girl! Thanks for sharing my sweet friend!

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